Bloggers don't sell books.

I'm not going to reference where that came from. Those in the know, know.

I haven't been around lately. Work is shit and it sucks the life out of most things, blogging being one of them, but I have been reading your blogs and I have been reading. A lot actually. I've also been buying books based on book blogger recommendations. While selling and promoting books is not the aim of a book blogger, who blogs about books because he/she loves to talk about books, it is, fortunately, free advertisement for authors and publishers. Though I don't expect anyone I associate with in the book blogging community is looking for thanks for this, because we're going to do it regardless, but it would be nice if authors could, so to speak, not shit where they eat.

So, since I don't have anything much to say at the moment (and perhaps this post will put me in the mood to write some posts that apparently in no way promote or showcase books and might as well be blank pages or perhaps as meaningless as my grocery list) I thought I'd take a minute to let you, bloggers, know what you haven't sold:

Since this post is tinged with pissiness (like so many of my posts and perhaps my persona in general), please use this as your key to help decipher my sarcasm, though I feel it's apparent enough without:

1. Offender: book blogger
2. not selling: selling, promoting
3. Meaningless: full of meaning
4. fails: excels
5. No one reads: you read it everyday
6. Have not purchased: purchased

The biggest offender that comes to mind when I think about not selling me a book is Angie of Angieville, who you all know writes a meaningless little blog that completely fails in its objective to not sell books, and no one reads it anyway. Thanks to Angie, who may have merely mentioned some of these books, as well as completely failed to review some of them, I have not purchased:

1. Emotional Geology (which was a chore to get and I'm reading now and dear lord it's so beautiful it hurts.)
2. Northlander
3. Graceling (Which is now one of my most favorite books ever)
4. Fire
5. Alanna
6. Beauty (which introduced me to the wonder that is Robin McKinley and prompted me to buy #7 and #16)
7. Sunshine
8. The Dark is Rising (the whole series)
9. Audrey, wait!
10. How I Live Now
11. Keturah and Lord Death
12. Jane
13. The Thief
14. A Certain Slant of Light
15. Such a Pretty Girl
16. Spindle's End

When I don't want to find a book to read, I in no way visit another offender, Kristi @ The Story Siren because it would be pointless as she never recommends a book. Kristi, whose blog does not receive thousands of hits, and who absolutely NO ONE goes to in order to receive information about books before they're even mentioned anywhere else. By not reading Kristi's blog, her Books to Pine For posts and heavens no, not from her In My Mailbox post that doesn't showcase some books THAT WOULD NEVER HAVE RECEIVED MENTION OTHERWISE (oops I slipped) I haven't purchased the following:

1. As You Wish
2. The Adoration of Jenna Fox
3. The Line
4. Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake (One of my favorite books ever and it's a freakin' romance and I now adore with all the adoration there is Sarah MacLean)
5. Other Words for Love
6. Beautiful Creatures (which made me buy #7)
7. Beautiful Darkness
8. Across the Universe

Anyway, I think you get the gist, and while I can't remember the name of each and every book blogger (Donna @ Bites, Sandy @ The Pirate Penguin Reads, Melissa @ Book Nut, Jillian @ Random Ramblings, Taschima @ Bloody Bookaholic, Kate @ The Neverending Shelf, Jenny @ Wondrous Reads, etc...) whose mention of a book has prompted me to buy it, I can remember the books. Book Bloggers, those insignificant little worms who are sucking the life out of the industry, have resulted in my not grabbing my keys and not running out to immediately buy the following:

1. A Map of the Known World
2. The Hunger Games Trilogy
3. Eyes Like Stars
4. Percy Jackson and The Olympians series
5. Coraline
6. If I Stay
7. The House of Night series (which I LOVE LOVE LOVE to hate)
8. The Darkest Powers series
9. The Mortal Instruments series
10. The Black Dagger Brotherhood series (Thank you thank you to whoever this was. Was it you Taschima? I can't remember. Whoever prompted this is a goddess)
11. The Mercy Thompson series
12. Wicked Lovely
13. Stardust (favorite)
14. Thirteen Reasons Why
15. Speak
16. Ghostgirl
17. Greenangel
18. The Night Huntress series
19. Hex Hall
20. The Forest of Hands and Teeth
21. The Wallflowers Series (thank you thank you to Sarah MacLean and her BLOG)
22. Briar Rose
23. Secrets of the Tudor Court book 1 and 2
24. Because I Am Furniture
25. Incarceron
26. Restoring Harmony
27. Princess of the Midnight Ball
28. Grace
29. Crank
30. Firespell
31. The Graveyard Book
32. Harmonic Feedback
33. Looking for Alaska
34. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian
35. Wings
36. The Iron King
37. Before I Fall
38. Prophecy of the Sisters
39. Light Beneath Ferns
40. Meridian
41. Soulless
42. Wondrous Strange
43. Everlasting
44. A Great and Terrible Beauty
45. Bloody Jack
46. The Book Thief
47. Plain Kate
48. The Luxe
49. Inkheart
50. The Looking Glass Wars
51. Insatiable
52. Life As We Knew It
53. Ash
54. Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart
55. The City of Embers

So keep up the really shit job, offenders. Your work is crap and so are your blogs. You don't promote or sell books and every post you make is pointless. No one has ever heard of a book, or bought a book because you mentioned it and no one ever will.
_____________________________________________________

From the bottom of my heart, which is so full of a love of stories and the written word that I could never adequately describe and in fact, I wouldn't want to because capturing a feeling that intense would lessen it- I thank you for what you do and I love you for it.

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Laura @ A Jane of All Reads
I read excessively and hoard books like a greedy dragon. Theoretically, I also plan to use them to barricade myself against the forthcoming zombie apocalypse.

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