Tempted by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast

Welcome back to the House of Night series, children. I know you're excited to return to vamp school but first, let's review what we've learned about the House of Night series thus far:

1. The House of Night is a boarding school for fledgling vampires, who apparently need the supervision and influence of older vampires in order for them to make the transition into full vampires or they die horribly EXCEPT THEY DON'T DIE. Yeah.
2. Vampire customs and beliefs follow a hodge-podge of matriarchal, pagan, greekish, Lori Cabot-esque philosophy that doesn't really make any sense, but would still be rather quaint if it wasn't taken directly from the "Be Like The Girls in the Craft Handbook 101", or if it was in anyway consistent and didn't butcher a plethora of folklore.
3. Panders to every conceivable stereotype in a shameless attempt to suck in readers. (Kudos to your PR people) For instance, the fact that Damien's homosexuality is mentioned EVERY time he appears on page and we get that your book is multi-racial and I'm so glad you have to keep telling us that some of your characters hail from different backgrounds.
4. Zoey (Lady of the Night really does mean whore) Redbird is everything we hope our daughters won't be and please don't strive to be like her.
5. Is correct in it's portrayal of teenage boys being only sex driven hot heads.
6. Is written on a third grade reading level.

Chapters 1-447 (Seems like every five pages we got a new chapter) or up to 55% of the book:
Stevie Rae and the Bird Man (playing at a club near you)

Zoey and Co. have scared off Nefret and Kalona, they are all living in a nunnery, and Stevie Rae saves a Raven Mocker (nasty half bird man created when Kalona raped Cherokee women. Seriously. Pull something else out of your ass). Zoey fights with all three of her boyfriends. Skip forward to just over halfway through the book because that's the next time anything actually happens.

Chapter 447-963: When the World is Crap and Evil Beings Want to Kill You Go Back to School

They return to the House of Night, I forget why. Probably so that they are around adult vamps who keep them from "dying" and turning into blood thirsty monsters that can't go out in the daylight.....wait....I...thought...that's...what...vampires...did...?

Chapter 963-1452: We Couldn't Come Up With Anything Original So We Wrote This

Now they are traveling to Italy to meet with the Voltur- er wait, that's another book isn't it? Let me reread- nope, they are indeed traveling to Italy to meet with the vampire council. *cough* Twilightbandwagonfamewhores *cough*

The Last, Er, Roughly, 6 Pages

In which everything gets REALLY good! I want to know what happens next! Is it wrong that I think Kalona is AWESOME? Can you BELIEVE what just happened!? When do we get another one?

Yes, this is book abuse at its finest right here and I know some people think the sun shines out of Team Cast's a...there, I was good, but there isn't anything even remotely intelligent about this book, the series, the story, the concept. That said, even given my animosity towards the writers and the series, I keep reading because there is just something about the series that makes me want to see it through. I'm giving this book 3 stars, it may be crap, but it's consistently crappy which takes real initiative. Not only that you couldn't write anything worse and still have it be SO VERY entertaining and that's real skill, and well...it has a fabulous cliff-hanger ending.

Congratulations Parents! It's a....BOOK!

Kris from The Cajun Book Lady is the first person to adopt an unloved book from our shelter!

Suzanne at Chicks with Books has also chosen to open her home to a needy book.

Thank you to everyone who supported the No Kill Book Shelter and for doing your part to stop book abuse!

The No Kill Book Shelter

The No Kill Book Shelter will be accepting applications until tonight at 11:59 pm CST. The families chosen will be notified Wednesday, December 9th. Please take a moment to fill out an application and open your home to an unloved book. Bring an abused book home for the holidays!

Click here to adopt a bouncing baby book!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

So they say...

About Me

My Photo
Laura @ A Jane of All Reads
I read excessively and hoard books like a greedy dragon. Theoretically, I also plan to use them to barricade myself against the forthcoming zombie apocalypse.

I accept books for review as long as they're good ones. Review Policy
View my complete profile


Because you took the time to visit, this is for you:

Blog contents © A Jane of All Reads 2011. Blogger Theme by NymFont. "Jane" avatar by Parajunkee.