Lover Awakened by J.R. Ward

Ok so I'm going along, reading my little paranormal romance/vampire semi-erotica novels, and yeah they're action packed and suspenseful and entertaining and surprisingly well written but first and foremost- total escapism, when Ward decides she's going to do something very heartless. She's going to go and write a really good BOOK- One that forces you to care for the characters, feel their pain, relive their histories and cry like a baby when one of them is lost. I didn't want a REAL BOOK, I wanted trashy romance! I feel cheated but I'm very grateful.

Zsadist is the black sheep of the brotherhood. Even his own brothers question his loyalty...and his sanity. The rumors that surround him are the stuff of nightmares and no one doubts that they are true. His place amongst the warriors is only tolerated because of Phury, his beautiful, kind, loyal twin brother. Zsadist owes his twin his life and Phury would give his up if it would undo the horrors that Zsadist was forced to live through.

Bella is a citizen, one of the lives the brotherhood has sworn to protect. When Rhage fell in love with Mary, Bella was the reason they even met. As a member of the aristocracy and friend to Rhage's mate, she is one of the few vampire citizens who have even seen the brotherhood, and one of the few people who haven't run away from Zsadist in fear. She is the only woman, Zsadist has ever wanted.

The lessers are kidnapping and murdering citizens in an effort to gain information concerning the whereabouts of the brotherhood. Since hardly anyone knows the actual identity of the brothers, the captured citizens are horribly tortured and put to death for their inability to provide any details. When Bella is taken by the forelesser (the leader), a very disturbed man named David, he keeps Bella as his "wife" because of her resemblance to his dead love.

Now you know what happens next. Zsadist HAS to rescue Bella because she HAS to be his. Standard stuff. But what follows is Zsadist's actual story, his history, his twin's involvement and their separate and shared suffering. Your heart just hurts for them, but I think I mostly felt sympathy for Phury who in addition to having to shoulder all that burden, also lives with unrelenting guilt because it wasn't him that was hurt instead of Zsadist.

Then there's the part that I can't talk about because it would ruin the story for anyone planning on reading it- but I am heartbroken over Tohr, Wellsie and even John, who only just finally found them. I'm in denial, and I refuse to believe that what happened actually happened. But it made me cry :(

I like that Ward gave Zsadist a mate that was his equal. With him being a tortured badass you would expect either a mousy little thing who's sweetness and light would eventually melt his cold heart (gag) or a real ball buster who just finally breaks him down. Thankfully neither of those characters showed up. Instead, we get Bella who like Zsadist before he was taken from his family, was an innocent. She was captured and subjected to some rather cruel, perverse treatment that while it wasn't nearly as horrible as what Zsadist suffered it molded her into someone who was similar to him.

So yeah, it was a good book. Don't do it again. Trash only please.